*Tired Post*

Don’t expect this to be totally coherent, but I have to throw a post up before I hit the sack. This is a story of tonights endeavors. So I guess you could call it a “field report,” well kind of. If there was a way to take video of an entire night and post it instead I would love to do that, but getting a camera/camera man to film in a bar is pretty difficult to do! But I’m going to consider this for a future video 100%.

I just got home this second and it’s 6:45am. There are a few things I want to talk about regarding tonights pickup while they’re still fresh in my mind.

I purposely forgot my bank card, and all my money at home tonight because I needed to make absolute sure I did not buy a drink.

Here is what happened tonight approach wise: I approached one set, and as usual, it was the only set I *had to approach all night.

*i say “had to approach,” because I ended up leaving with them, but I did approach other sets for the fun of it.

I need you all to understand something here, when you are good at picking up women you DON’T need to approach a lot of sets anymore. Many nights are exactly like this one, you do one set and you stick with it the whole night! It’ll actually be a rare occurring if I have to approach more than 3 sets in a given night.

Here’s tonights story:

This set contained a cute punk girl and her friend whom I wasn’t into. My wingman was Chris Lago (who you’ve seen me talk about before, I use many of his songs in my episodes).

I do the approach, open the set, and within about 3 seconds we are sitting down with them. From here the night begins to sky rocket. A girl I met a few nights earlier keeps calling me up, so I tell her to meet me at the bar. She comes to meet me there, instantly raising my social value (She’s this 19 year old blond girl with a massive rack!) And she is absolutely obsessed with me.

She actually gets very jealous because I’m talking to new girls and not her, so she turns to the set of girls I was chatting with, and says “I’m his girlfriend.” I instantly corrected her with, “You’re not my girlfriend. I don’t do relationships remember.” At which point she got a little embarrassed and went inside to hit on the band members.

I actually wanted her gone. To be completely honest she was annoying the crap out of me, and being very rude to our new friends. If there is one thing in a girl I cannot tolerate it’s that kind of rude attitude. Too bad she didn’t leave permanently, all through the night she kept popping back outside (we were out on the patio) and putting her hands on me, etc.

At this point I’m bored with the current girls, and Chris + Punk girl are talking about music, a subject which was boring the crap out of me. I got up, and approached another table of two girls. They asked me “Oh are you looking for somewhere to sit down?” I replied “No I’m looking to meet new people.” The girls instantly reached out their hands to greet me, and I took a seat.

Fast forward an hour————->

I’m back at the first table making my rounds. At this point when I get bored of one group I’m getting up and either going inside to get jumped by the jealous blond, or carry on conversation with other tables I opened. So far the girl I’m feeling the most connection with is the Punk one, but it looks like Chris is really into her too! Damn. I’m thinking I would rather not take the blond one home. The thought of her stale smokers breath on my tongue is a massive turn off. If I could escalate to sex without having to put my lips onto her lips, then it might work out.

a little drama starts to erupt as my friend Anthony enters the bar. Chris and Anthony DO NOT get a long, in fact Chris doesn’t want to be anywhere near this guy, and Anthony knows this! He also knows I’m out with Chris tonight. But he felt like being a Casanova and attempted to steal the blond away (not that she was ever mine to be stolen from, I don’t see women this way. But in his mind, that was the plan).

Things get really lame really quick, as the blond girl is now interrupting me at my tables constantly yelling to get rid of Anthony. Apparently she can’t stand him and he was hitting on her, this is what she tells me at least. I also have Chris getting upset that Anthony is there. For the record, I have no problems with Anthony at all! So here I am, the middle man. Girl is upset, and my friend is upset and worried Anthony will come outside. They are both telling me to get rid of him!

Problem is I don’t feel like playing “middle man” tonight. So I told Chris I couldn’t do anything, and told the blond girl if she didn’t like him, to get rid of him her self.

Five minutes later we see Anthony leaving the bar alone, giving us all an evil eye. He put himself in the situation though. I told him I was with Chris, hence I can’t hang out with him at the moment. And he insisted on coming knowing this. There is nothing I could do to make things turn out better for him, unless the blond was into him, then by all means he could have had her! Too bad.

Fast forward to the end of the night: We’re leaving, and we’re taking the punk girl + her friend with us to go get some food. I’m also REALLY not feeling the blond girl as her smokers breath gets worse and starts to REALLY reek. Crap! We have to find a way to drop the blond off, without letting her know that the rest of us intend to continue the night. Hmmm, this is simple, we tell her she’s the closest so she gets dropped off first .

While we’re in the car I’m stuck between the two new girls (one was rather “large”) and Blond is in the front with Chris while he drives. Blond turns to me and whispers in my ear, “can we go back to your place and polish off my alcohol together?” This means she wants it, and she wants it hard! Now I have to make a decision. I either leave to bang blond, possibly killing my chances with the cute punk girl, or I stay and make things awkward as Chris and I are both into the punk girl.

What do I do? Come on guys, I think you’d know me by this point. I always walk the harder road to reap the sweetest of results! I realize Chris and I both don’t believe in monogamy and we can both have her (not at the same time of course)! I decline Blond’s offer and tell her I have to work early in the morning, but reassure her tomorrow we’ll meet up. She tries to argue with me for a little while about it, but I’m not budging so she has to deal with my decision.

We drop off Blond, go to a 24 hour place, only to realize they are all closed (I know they’re supposed to be open 24 hours!). In the end we end up at a Tim Horton’s (coffee chain that’s open 24 hours for real). The girls gladly offer to buy us food, since we conveniently left our money at home. Such sweet hearts eh’! I should also note they were buying us drinks all night.

After this we drop off punk girls friend (the large girl), and it’s time to see what will happen…

I’m sitting in the back seat going over possible outcomes: one outcome is she likes Chris and not me, which is totally cool. The other outcome is she likes me and not Chris, which is also totally cool. And the third outcome is she likes us both, which of course, is totally cool.

Then here it comes! The definitive moment – Not. She puts her arm around me in the back seat and gets real close to cuddle. DAMN! This tells me nothing. She was giving Chris TONS of indicators she had interest in him at the bar. Far more so than myself. And now she’s cuddling with me in the back seat. Ahhh, I guess she likes both of us. But which one does she want to f*ck tonight?

It’s now 3:30 AM, as we pull into Punk girls drive way to drop her off. She takes the initiative where both of us wouldn’t dare. She asks “Do you guys want to come in, I have beer.”

As for what happened when we went in, who got laid who didn’t… well, I’m sorry guys I don’t Kiss and tell .

- Jack Coxwell