*The Ultimate Dweeb*
When I think of my self in one of the most dweeby times of my life, it’s not what you’d expect.
It’s not when I used to play video games.
It’s not when I used to collect comic books.
It’s not when I used to play Warhammer (still do paint the suckers every once in a while actually)
It’s not when I used to play online RP games (Similar to D n D type stuff)
It’s not when I was a pimple faced dweeb in high school.
It’s not when I used to collect Pokemon cards.
It’s not when I used to collect and play Magic The Gathering
It’s not even when all the friends I had were dorks!
Oh no, it’s when I first started learning “pickup.” When I was so naive into thinking I was going to attract women by reading an e-book.
Now my friend, THAT is one of the most dweeby times of my life.
When you reach a point of being great with women, you realize that all the garbage you used to study and wrack your mind with was almost useless! Sure, some key points are great! Like teasing the girl, approaching on an angle, maintaining high social value, proving you have social value, and appearing non-needy in your non-reactiveness. But besides these measly 5 pointers, I don’t implement much of ANYTHING else I used to study and consider “The rules of dating.” I don’t even remember the last time I used a “Time Constraint.”
Something has to be said on seeing women and meeting them in this unrealistic mind set that reading books such as “The Game” put you in. And it’s already been stated in the first sentence to this paragraph, “unrealistic mind set.”
None of these skills you are learning (skills such as story telling, negging, push/pull) are going to change the type of person YOU are DEEP DOWN. They can only put a mask ontop the truth. The whole aim here is to hope that mask seeps it’s hooks beneath the skin and welds into your very being (fake it till you make it). Problem being, for many this NEVER happens. Why does this never happen? Because they have unrealistic goals, unrealistic belief patterns.
Essentially, their minds are twisted the wrong way! It reads as if it’s “Too good to be true,” because it very damn well IS too good to be true. A few tactics are never going to change who you really are. Sure, you might get some girls numbers. but good luck on those dates you’ll be having! Hell, good luck even getting them to pickup the phone.
If you come to this from a true place of pain and a true place of suffering (I’m talking the guys who have a big zero when it comes to their history with women and are above the age of 25) there isn’t a line or a tactic out there that’s going to catapult women anywhere NEAR your arms. You have a lot of YOU work to do before you can think about finding a potential mate.
I am annoyed and saddened at how much this whole “Community” tricks people. It tricks people into thinking with a few memorized lines and few easy tactics you’ll be getting women in no time.
Listen, I KNOW I am an attractive person inside and out. I KNOW my time is valuable. I KNOW I am an unbelievable catch that girls would (and do) fight over(not only do I know this, but I am also told all these things daily by the women I date).
Now I want you to ask me how I manage to pull girls on a consistent rate, and consistently have them fall for me (and no, it’s not my looks)
Because I don’t pretend to be an attractive person inside and out, I KNOW it with every part of my being. Just as I know my time is valuable and I know I’m an amazing catch any girl would be sorry to miss out on. When these beliefs are internalized (usually through throwing yourself into the fire and learning the hard way) women become magnetized towards you.
Now I want you to tell a guy who is absolutely miserable and hopeless with women, to read a few books and memorize a few lines, and to be at the same place that I’m at within a reasonable time frame.
It’s just not going to work, period. The reason being is it takes more than “Faking it till you make it” for the guys who are GENUINELY hopeless. It takes a lot of ground work and mental training. You essentially have to transform all that is you, and yank out only the attractive qualities while accepting and forgiving the rest.
A feat this big is not only NEVER taken on as a reasonable challenge, but it’s also failed at time and time again by hopeful humans wanting change without putting the devastatingly hard work in.
I had days where I was miserable, days where I want to die. Days where I wanted to be alone forever and wanted to just give up. Days where I’d day dream of a girl just popping up on the street and approaching me, and me just getting into a long term relationship with them so I never had to think of “pickup” again.
This was NO WHERE near an easy journey. If you are “hopeless” in your mind. You are hopeless in your being. It’s just that simple.
If I could look at my self 8 months ago when I was yearning for a date, and tell my self a few things I didn’t know back then. I would tell my self to throw out all the stupid books I was reading. I would tell my self I had unrealistic goals, and that memorizing a few lines and tactics would make me look like a freak trying to recite a play in person live for strangers who forgot to pay the cover charge.
I would tell my self trying to take on the persona of a man who’s a professional magician and 1 foot taller than me was disgustingly stupid, I would tell my self playing hand tricks like the guy “perdeep” was using in the show only works when it’s congruent with your personality.
I would tell my self all these INSANELY obvious facts that I know now, but was too busy in my laa-dee-daa phase 8 months ago thinking Mystery was a god.
I mean it. When I used to call my friends up and say “let’s go sarging” I was the biggest Nerd that I have ever been in my life. Hell, at least when I played Pokemon cards I KNEW I was playing pokemon cards, and I knew Charizard was worth the most in the series. Learning pickup you know nothing but lies and deception thrown at you by men who want to make a quick dollar out of your e-book/bootcamp purchase.
I have friends who have been on bootcamps with “high class companies,” and friends who have seen bootcamps in progress (not including myself). Basically what happens is they spend a long time explaining to you things you’ve already read about, and then they spend less than a quarter of the same time watching you get shut down by girls, at which point they tell you some more stuff you already read about.
Am I saying all High grade pickup companies are no good? Hell no! I’m saying they’re not worth the near 3 thousand dollars you’re going to spend for the 3 days of time they are giving you, when you can spend $60 of that and learn the exact same thing by any one of the companies e-books. IF you are going to buy training, you either buy one-on-one, or make sure it’s a company that has SMALL boot camps, so you can get your money’s worth. (Basically what bootcamps are, are a bunch of guys who just paid top dollar to Hang out with a man who calls himself a “pickup artist.”)
I haven’t even hit the worst part of it all yet. These men who call them selves “pickup artists” and teach these bootcamps more than half the time aren’t nearly as good as men who are born Naturals with women!
It’s a disgusting field, and a field filled with liars and deception. Just about anyone can read an e-book and claim to be masterful with women, but less than 1% of those men can actually put their money where their mouth is. And less than 25% of the men writing the e-books, are any better at pickup than a man who’s a born “Natural” with the ladies.
You think these numbers don’t make sense? Guess again. I don’t mean to burst any bubbles here, but getting good with women is up to one person, and one person only:
YOU !!!!!!!!!!
Once you make powerful framework and sort out every detrimental factor in your mind and your essence that’s stopping you from being the man you were born to be, THATS when women start coming into your life. At this point the games and tactics don’t mean crap.
8 months ago I’d go out, and no one would compliment my looks. Today I go out, and it happens regularly. I’m not any buffer, any taller, or any better looking physically period.
Do you know what has changed? My ENERGY. My energy is what they are feeling, and it’s making me look attractive and FEEL desirable. I rarely ever get rejected or shut down anymore, because any girl with half a brain sees there isn’t anything better coming her way for a LONG time.
Am I being cocky? No I’m not being cocky. I’m telling you that no matter what you read or what they tell you, the true key to becoming masterful with women has almost NOTHING to do with women at all! It’s a complete mind fuck.
Whether you want to believe it or not, the true key to becoming masterful with women has to do with YOU, and you being the whole damn package.
What good is a plate without food? What good is a house without a roof?
Become the full package, inside and out. And you will know what happiness is. You will know what it is to attract and keep women. Because the women won’t have A CHOICE but be attracted to you!
How do you become the full package? I’m going to tell you. And No, this isn’t where I put a link to an e-book or something similar. This is where I say I’m going to explain this over a period of time through my video’s, and through my posts. So you guys can all reach this level.
But I must warn you, it’s not an easy path. Don’t embark on it without first knowing what you’re up against. You’re up against hard winds and huge waves, so build a sturdy ship damn it or invest in a quality life jacket.
- Jack Coxwell
15 Responses to “*The Ultimate Dweeb*”
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good man good post and best of all — good blast on mystery
you’re my type of gamer man. fuck those who are in it for the money.. it’s about self-improvement
wow man. if i could say one thing to those who wanted a magic pill to understanding game i’d tell them to read this post.. here comes a post on the forums hehe
Jack i have to say this post is a revelation. I found out about pick up a few weeks ago and studied some stuff yet. And that were my thoughts exactly: “too good to be true”. I just could not picture myself
saying those lines and getting the same results as these pua I saw on youtube. As to my person (i don’t know if thats the right place to post all this stuff or not, i just do it): I am in this place of true pain and suffering. Meaning: Yes i am above 25 and i never had a girlfriend. To be exactly i’m 28 years old! So i will throw myself into that fire and i’ll accept the challenge. I’ll participate in all the steps of your bootcamp and keep you postet about my results on the forum.
Either i’ll cross this fire and make it or it will burn me away and i’ll move in with my mom when i turn 30 and spent the rest of my life being a sad little virgin. I am starting out only with the hope that there is maybe, just maybe, hope for me yet.
I’m really good at getting girls, I never really followed any of the pua stuff i have my own style but yeah i good post adam!
good luck Hoschi
Holy shit! You’ve just written the best piece I’ve ever read about the whole PUA community contrasted with what it REALLY means to have your personal shit together. You’re talking about your “inner game” here and what it means to truly embody the confidence that guys who are naturally good with the ladies have and always have had. True belief in oneself without needing all the tricks and deception.
I look forward to seeing what you have to offer in this regard!
Amen dude,
I was listening to parts of tyler’s blueprint yesterday which focused on identity, being congruent with what you say. It had a bout the same conclusion as your post. Focus on being you, maintain your frame, know deep inside you are the best catch.
Dont try to live up to other people’s standards.
Live in the moment, dont worry on reacting to other people.
Let them react to you.
I don’t believe I will ever pull it off opening a girl with the opener: Who lies more, girls or guys? And make her interested in continuing the conversation. I just don’t believe I want to hear the answer. I think situational openers are much more congruent with what you are thinking.
Your videos are an inspiration!
jack said
None of these skills you are learning (skills such as story telling, negging, push/pull) are going to change the type of person YOU are DEEP DOWN.
yes they do jackass at first I was a mumbly stumbling character who was funny and only interview styled girls now I’m all of a sudden more interesting and having smoother conversations with women i learned the outside techniques and absorbed it internally now im smooth and interesting as well as funny you wouldnt know the transformation a person goes thru from afc to pua using canned game cuz your still an afc and you tried canned game didnt understand and quit now your shooting shit in the dark ……..your not above canned game
Essentially, their minds are twisted the wrong way! It reads as if it’s “Too good to be true,” because it very damn well IS too good to be true. A few tactics are never going to change who you really are. Sure, you might get some girls numbers. but good luck on those dates you’ll be having! Hell, good luck even getting them to pickup the phone
see this proves that you dont understand game at all ..shit isnt too good to be true youd be amazed at shit you can do when you GRASP and apply the material effectively I thought it was too good to be true when I attracted this dudes girlfriend with him 5 feet away Im talkin her invited me to sit next to her her applying hand holdin kino her tryin to remove to boyfriend from our interaction her tellin me personal things shouldnt wouldnt tell him her followin my orders ignoring his ……now do you think it would be a struggle to get this TAKEN girl to pickup the phone ……..
Now I want you to ask me how I manage to pull girls on a consistent rate, and consistently have them fall for me (and no, it’s not my looks)
they are not your ability to recognize when a girl is attracted to you is non existent if they are fallin for you then you wouldnt have to try so much in your interactions
I am annoyed and saddened at how much this whole “Community” tricks people. It tricks people into thinking with a few memorized lines and few easy tactics you’ll be getting women in no time
thats why you go out with it and test it in the field until you understand the material you gotta understand why so you can apply effectively my guess is you never did that and now your bashing mystery (a genuine master pua) cuz your ass was unsuccessful with canned game ha)
you sound like some delusional motherfucker who got a number close and now you think you know shit your inner game aint fixed you got this ego thing thats stoppin you from real not imaginery success at pickup girls you live in fantasy land where you need no canned game and never get rejected shit I bombed with an average 2 set yesterday and I have better game than you so you dont get rejected merely you dont put yourself in enough challenging situations situations where you leave your comfort zone …im out hopefully this post will help you cuz right now you aint helping yourself or anyone for that matter
id much rather approach the game the way jack does than be some douche with canned game who just goes around tricking girls. id rather fuck half as many girls that actually like the real me than a bunch that are just dumb enough to fall for some scripts and “kino” which leads me to my next point – the termanology of “pua” is just fuckin gay, jack is trying to teach people to be more comfortable in their own skin which will in turn attract people to them, keep up the good work jack this is the only site i will visit from now on when it comes to “gaming”
I maybe shouldn’t post here, since I can’t speak from experience myself, but I’d have to agree with sugar, and nignig.
It all depends on what you want you know.
If you just want to have a girl to have fun with, I’m sure those lines of mystery etc will work fine. But that does not mean that the girl really likes you. She might find you funny sure, but that’s about it….
I think Jack is doing a great thing here with sharing his experience from the beginning on, and trying to help others and even if it is just in the field of getting more confidence in oneself, or getting better with women, in a way that they feel more attracted to you, because as he said “your energy changed”
But that is just my opinion on this matter, and everybody has his/her own, so be it lol
awesome post man
i just got home after being blown out of a couple of sets
and what you wrote picked up my spirits
as for nig nig, take it easy dude do what works for you
lets not bicker around like we’re debating religion or somethin
All the e-boos and tactics you learn from them arent a hoax, its a way to get you where you feel you are now (i doubt it tho after just 8 months) but still, its supposed to make you go out there and be social with woman, and every single famous PUA have completly dropped tactics and gone natural at some point, where after dealing with hundreds…. thousands of approaches has removed all AA, successes have given them a good energy and a positive attitude about themselves. The books are not a hoax, but it does require alot of training and eventually you wont need them anymore.
Its not like you wouldnt have been where you feel you are today if not for the books, they encouraged you to go out there. Dont forget that.
Exactly, how can you say that the books don’t work or haven’t done anything for you…. when you’ve read them! You can only objectively say so when you haven’t read them yet. I mean you might still be unconsiously using stuff you learned from the books. And like duhhh says they made you go out and try stuff initialy.
We all know that in the end what you say about confidence is true. If you’re truly confident and you dont’give a f*ck THAT’S how you attract women. However… to get there you can take multiple paths; you can get there just trying; without reading any books, meanwhile discovering stuff that you DO read in books for yourself. Or you can read books. The things is,
you need a jumpstart! YOu need a few successes to get confidence to get MORE successes! And it’s a ball that keeps on roling. That’s why you said “it just happens’ like a switch.
And I’ve seen your last video’s and you DID use stuff that i’ve seen online too. Now I myself haven’t read any books, but I’ve read some comments and stuff from keys to the vip etc. that i recognize in your “natural” game also. Like attraction, comfort, seduction. And little tactics like posture, stepping back when one is showing interest. Waiting for her to show interest before you show some. You do that.
Having made a post about this earlier in a forum… I figured i might as well point it out here as well as it clearly relates… I think it is important to read up on theory, but only to be aware of it. It only becomes a detrimental factor when you’re consciously thinking about the processes when you’re talking to women… the idea is to learnt he theory and to then forget about it and to trust that your subconscious will naturally make you refer to the theory naturally without thinking about it…
This is a very weird thing to say but trust me when i say this, but it makes sense… This is what makes guys who have acquired this ability a lot more powerful than the born naturals or the guys who just became naturals through trial and error, ‘cos you’re infield experience becomes aligned with the theory that you already know, so as a result become that much more knowledgeable with what makes women attracted to you…
It all goes hand in hand… One experience i’ve had was when i hung out with a friend of mine who’s club promoter and a natural. He knew about the game but what he eventually pointed out to me was that the reason why i learned and developed my game so fast was not because i hung out with him (Which did help in some way) but the fact that i was aware about the attraction process based on the theory i learned, so whenever i experienced something at first hand and it aligned with the theory i already knew, it gave me ‘aha’ moments which in turn helped me develop…
So i guess to sum up, yes its good to just wing it and be yourself, however, it’s always a good idea to have the basic theory down in your mind in order to help your unconscious process it in order to develop…
this is the key to become truly great…
You’re good shit. I learned the hard way…. Grew a sack, filled it with some balls, went to the mall and told every girl I wanted to date that her earrings matched her necklace perfectly…
You newbies will shit yourselves at what you will learn after only the first one. Then do it 74 more times that day…
It’s like riding a bike, once the training wheels are off, you can get on and ride anytime you want.
ps. love the vids..
Cheers boys!