Simple pickup’s take on Approach Anxiety – or as they like to call it, “BB” (bitch butterflies).
I found this episode to be extremely motivational. I especially like their analogy of relating the anxiety to a roller coaster ride. However I would like to elaborate a wee bit more about a common misconception most men have in regards to their approach anxiety:
Like Kong says in the simple pickup video, the anxiety never goes away, but it does lessen. From my own experience I have found this to be true for the most part, except if you stop for a long period of time. In which case it does come back full swing. Say for example you stop approaching women for over 2 months after going at it hard. You’ll be more nervous than if you had just done it yesterday.
It’s almost as if it accumulates. The more you do it, the more you accumulate the ability to push beyond the anxiety. But as soon as you stop approaching altogether your ability to beat the anxiety slowly decompresses and it gets more, and more difficult to push yourself to do it.
The biggest thing you have to keep in mind is that the first 1-3 approaches are ALWAYS the most difficult. Once you make it through those first few approaches in any given day or night the rest is cheese cake.
The anxiety never goes away but what ends up happening is the more approaches you do, the more times you face the fear head on – the more your body adapts to being able to overcome fear. You affirm it to yourself and your entire being that it’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel terrified even. You teach yourself that you’re going to do it anyway in spite of that fear.
This lesson, when applied again and again can start to wreak profound changes. Eventually your overall confidence goes up. You start to realize that you have more power over your life than you ever imagined. Now this is a powerful notion. Once you realize you have the power to go for what YOU want, and to shape your own future – that’s when you begin to evolve and grow into the person you always dreamed of.
- Jack Coxwell